Disney Parks-- Where Jacen's Worst Dreams Come True
by AmazingGraceless
Summary: The Legends characters have been permitted into the park with their canon counterparts. Jacen hates Kylo, Rey just wants to figure out who inspired her character, Mara wants Jyn Erso to die, and Anakin wants everyone to quit confusing him with his grandfather. Chaos and shenanigans ensue.
1. Two Jacens

**AN: Based off of the Bought Off and Sold to Disney stories. Get ready for the battle of all canons.**

* * *

Jacen Solo was beyond unhappy. While he did get to hang out in the Disney Parks, (technically being Disney property now) he was "non-canon" and was a "legend." Now, he, Jaina, and Anakin always knew that they would be legends someday, but they hadn't thought it would be like this. Still, Tenel Ka trailed him, Allana walking after them. It was weird, the whole ages that had been set for them, but Anakin had just rolled with it. After all, this meant that he technically wasn't dead anymore.

Maybe he would've been okay with this if it weren't for him.

"He even stole my Sith name!" Jacen seethed. "Kylo, Caedus, couldn't he be more original?"

"Maybe they were just trying to reference you?" Tenel Ka suggested. She was rather amused by the turn of events. After all, Epcot was hella more fun than the Hapes Consortium. She'd already gotten her room with the princesses (including Leia and Padmé and even Jaina by a strange turn of events) and had gotten along just fine with Mulan and Merida.

"Then why didn't they keep us?" Jacen argued. "We brought the fangirls and fanboys to their knees!"

"And if I remember correctly, everyone hated you after that," Tenel Ka remarked dryly as she patted his cheek.

Allana frowned, not entirely understanding. It had been interesting, getting to know her real daddy, but it still didn't entirely match up with the Sith Lord she'd known.

"It's the principle of the thing!" Jacen shouted, which drew attention from Kylo. He stomped down from the platform where he was signing autographs and posing for the little kids. He activated his tri-saber and everyone gasped.

Jacen just calmly activated his own green lightsaber. Tenel Ka held Allana's hand and waited to see what would happen while Jaina and Anakin activated their lightsabers (naturally making Tahiri light hers up). The two character incarnations just stared each other down until Kylo took off his helmet.

Jaina turned off her lightsaber and started snickering.

"You look like Kyp!" She said, and Kyp, Zekk, and Jag started staring down this newcomer. There was not going to be another point in the love square.

"Relax," Jaina ordered. "He's technically my brother from another continuity, so- Ew! Stop thinking about that!"

Kylo shook his head, obviously disgusted with his sister from another continuity.

"So you're the man I've heard so much about," Jacen drawled.

"Wait, so you're Darth Caedus?" Kylo asked with the look of a four-year-old who'd gotten a pony for their birthday.

"Jacen Solo, but yes," Jacen replied.

"OH MY GODS YOU'RE AWESOME!" Kylo squealed. Three people walked up behind him.

"Did Ben find Darth Vader again?" Rey groaned.

"Dude, you've got to stop, or Anakin's going to kill you," Finn said.

"What?" Anakin asked, not totally understanding.

"Wait, are you called Anakin too?" Finn asked.

"Yeah," Anakin and Tahiri chorused.

"Oh, you must be the Legends, that's cool," Poe said.

"I'm Rey."

"Jaina."

"Tenel Ka."

"Allana Solo."

"Tahiri."

The girls grinned at each other.

"Wanna go on the Tower of Terror?" Rey asked.

"Hells yes!" Jaina declared.

"Jacen didn't want to go, but Allie and I did, so yes," Tenel Ka said as she received a dirty look from Jacen.

"Better than sticking around here," Tahiri said.

"Wait, can I come with you?" Anakin asked, and the girls decided to let him tag along. They all started skipping down the Hollywood Studios park streets, elbows linked. This left Poe, Jag, Kyp, Zekk, Jacen, Finn, and Kylo to fend for themselves.

"Hey, wanna go check out Soaring in Epcot?" Poe asked Jag after an awkward silence.

"Yeah, come on Zekk, Finn," Jag said, and they all booked it. Kyp wanted to book it with them, but Jacen held onto his cloak with the Force.

 _You are going to help me,_ he grumbled telepathically.

Meanwhile, Kylo had been fanboying over meeting the Darth Caedus that he'd been based off of. Caedus re-activated his lightsaber. He was going to take down this so-called new "canon" version of him.


	2. That's Not the Point!

"You took my Sith Name, you took my plot line, and you didn't have the decency to at least look like me!" Jacen declared as he waved his lightsaber for emphasis.

"I don't know, Jaysa," Kyp said, smirking when he used the childhood nickname. "Long hair, black robes-"

"I didn't put on Revan's mask-"

"You know Darth Revan?" Kylo/Ben practically squealed.

"No!" The two men chorused.

"For the last time, we're not signing your copy of Knights of the Old Republic, for the last time Kylo!" The horde of Revans called out.

"That's not the point!" Jacen yelled impatiently. "You think you can steal from me? Then you've got another thing coming!"

He launched himself at Kylo, who barely defended himself with a cross guard. Kyp just folded his arms over his chest boredly, and began talking to some of the female tourists who were Star Wars fan girls.

"This is the best day ever!" Kylo declared as he parried with Jacen. "I get to fight with the Darth Caedus!"

"Don't you get it, you fanboy twit?" Jacen demanded as he Force-pushed Kylo to the ground. "I'm going to take back what was mine!"

"Not awesome!" Kylo declared as he scooted backwards. In a moment of panic, he froze Jacen to keep him from moving while he got to his feet and started to run away from the angry Legend. As soon as he was twenty-feet away, Jacen was free to move and he turned into the Force.

"I will put the timeline right," he declared, and he started running off after the frightened incarnation.

"So," Kyp said to one girl. "Care to join me at the Cantina?"

* * *

Mara strolled down Main Street U.S.A. in Magic Kingdom. She had gained quite a bit of attention from the male tourists due to her striking red hair and tight leather jumpsuit. A few of the tourists had congratulated her on her stunning 'Black Widow' cosplay. Mara, naturally, had no idea who that was, but she just rolled with it.

She was surprised to see her Farmboy walking on Main Street with a girl wearing a jacket that looked a lot like Mara's favorite one on her arm. Frowning, Mara decided to find out who this mystery girl was and what she was doing with Luke.

"Hey, Farmboy!" She called. For some reason, Luke didn't respond.

"Hey, Skywalker!" She yelled, and he finally looked at her.

"Who's this?" She demanded. The other woman unlinked her arm with Luke's and stared down Mara with piercing green eyes that were actually quite similar to Mara's own.

"I'm Rogue One," the woman snapped in a voice that naturally oozed sass. "I think me and Skywalker are to be married in the films."

"Married?" Mara raised her eyebrows. Her hand reached for her lightsaber hilt, which dredged up some of the pain. It was the lightsaber Luke had given her. And she'd realized that he didn't remember her.

"Who are you anyway and why were you talking to Luke like that?" Rogue One asked as she sashayed forwards.

"Oh, I did forget to introduce myself," Mara said with a bitter laugh. "I'm Mara Jade Skywalker, Luke's wife."

Luke's jaw dropped, and he looked from woman to woman. He started to step towards Mara, but was glared at by Rogue One. He then ran off. Rogue One smirked at Mara.

"He's mine now."

"Oh no," Mara said as she unhooked her lightsaber from her belt, comforted by the weight of it in her hand. "I fought through several women to get him, including that one that lived in a computer."

Rogue One wrinkled her nose. "He dated a computer?"

"A Jedi who lived in a computer, yeah," Mara snarled, instantly bad-tempered at the thought of Callista Ming. "But that's not the point! Luke is mine!"

"Fight me!" Rogue One snarled, unhooking her blaster.

An evil smile crept up Mara's face. The blue blade of Anakin Skywalker flew to her hand.

"Gladly," she declared.


	3. Anakin Braids Rey's Hair

Let it be known that Rogue One shot first, so when George Lucas (despite not owning the company anymore) attempts to edit the park footage, we'll know the truth.

Of course, that was a rather stupid move against a trained Jedi/Emperor's Hand like our dear Mara. She blocked and advanced. Rogue One, however? She backed up and analyzed the angry assassin coming at her.

She then started shooting rapidly and waiting to find a weak spot. Mara blocked but was starting to tire. Rogue One finally found an opening and shot. Mara cried out and started limping towards Rogue One angrily.

Rogue One was starting to feel like maybe she'd picked on the wrong Jedi.

* * *

"The problem is that I don't know if I'm a Solo or a Skywalker or a Kenobi," Rey said with a sigh. "They're making me wait two years to find out."

"That sucks," Jaina said.

"The worst- that's a fact." Tenel Ka shuddered.

"No worse than being confused over being a Djo or a Solo," Allana muttered.

"What was that, Allie?"

"Nothing!"

"We'll help you find your inspiration, Rey," Anakin said as he patted her shoulder.

"Then maybe once we've figured which of us inspired you, we can figure out who you are," Tahiri added.

"That's really nice, guys," Rey said. She finally stopped braiding Jaina's hair. "We all look great with these braids, guys."

"Even Ani," Tahiri said with a giggle.

"At least I wasn't too horrible with Rey's braids," Anakin said.

"Of course you weren't, you were the one who taught me how to braid with one hand, after all," Tenel Ka said.

"So where do we start in the search for inspiration?" Rey asked.

"Let's start with the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique," Tahiri said. "They're supposed to help you find your heart."

"At least we'll look good doing it," Jaina muttered.

"Come on, let's go!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Kylo/Ben was calling desperate measures for desperate times. Darth Caedus wanted to kill him. There was only one person he decided could help him.

"GRANDFATHER!" He shouted upon spotting Darth Vader on the giant stage. "You've gotta help me! My other incarnation's trying to kill me!"

At that moment, Jacen showed up, glowing and everything.

"You're on your own, bud," Vader declared. In reality, he was just ticked that he had to keep going back in the suit for these events and kept getting bothered by his stupid grandson. Anything would be better.

Kylo/Ben started running again.


	4. Tenel Ka Resists Makeover

Rey was surprised to find that she liked the Bippidi-Boppidi Boutique. She appreciated having her three buns let loose and restyled into a hairstyle like Belle's. She also enjoyed the dress and tiara that came with it, although her fingers itched for a lightsaber.

Anakin stood to the side, complimenting Tahiri heavily in her Cinderella costume and his sister in her Sleeping Beauty dress. Jaina and Tahiri were exchanging banter with him as well, keeping the fairy godmothers amused.

"For the last time, I don't want my braids being undone!" Tenel Ka snapped. "I just want the makeup and the dress!" The tiara on the vanity among other bottles began to hover. The fairy godmother sighed, making Tenel Ka let them down.

"I guess this was fun," Rey said as they walked out of the boutique a few minutes later. "But I don't see the point."

"It was fun," Anakin said, wrapping his arm around Tahiri. "Let's go somewhere, maybe we'll find clues."

"Sure," Rey said.

* * *

Kylo kept running into the one place he knew he could blend in. In the darkness of the Aerosmith Rockin' Roller Coaster, he knew he wouldn't be as easily spotted. He strapped himself in and hoped for the best. The ride began to whiz off when a green glow appeared from the entrance. With an amazing force-leap, Jacen was standing on the car, using the Force to stay on.

Kylo activated his trisaber to break free, and stood on top of his car.

"You want a fight, Caedus? A fight you'll get!"

With that, he leapt at Caedus, and the two began swinging at each other, causing much louder screaming than usual from the passengers who didn't want to get sliced by the glowsticks.

* * *

Rogue One, also known as Jyn Erso, was on her last dregs. She shot at Mara again on top of the roof, trying to shoot down the Emperor's Hand. She kept blocking effortlessly with the Skywalker lightsaber, causing Jyn to dodge as best she could.

"Stop!" Jyn cried as she held her hand up. "I'm actually not that interested in Luke."

"What do you mean?" Mara asked, still holding her saber aloft.

"I'm just hanging out with him for publicity," Jyn said with a shrug. "I'd prefer it if we were friends."

Mara raised an eyebrow, and deactivated her lightsaber. "Friends."


End file.
